Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
