Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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