the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
where are my eyebrows?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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