on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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