I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Is it penis luge time yet?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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