Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
