Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
meet me or not, i'm out of control
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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