$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
