my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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