zippers are such a cool invention
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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