When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
