I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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