my mouth tastes like poor choices
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize