i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
