I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
