In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
