So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
