i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
