She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
