people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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