You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
