she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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