Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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