I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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