All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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