i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
