Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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