Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize