about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
