can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
