Three words: puerto rican gang bang
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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