Where is the hickey?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he puts the penis in happiness.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
