Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
