6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
and she was petting her beer can
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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