Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
