Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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