Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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