My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
