kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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