READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
