the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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