You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
