two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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