If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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