I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I am mentally ready for anal.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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