the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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