So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
