Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
