Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
