sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize