Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
