Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
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