Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
