porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
