Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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