i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
