I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Quick, to the slutcave!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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