look no pants
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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