I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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